I’ve learned that conversations can be difficult.  They can be difficult for different reasons ranging from the participants to the subject matters.  Trying to hold a conversation, however, isn’t a big deal, as it sometimes made out to be.  I do not agree with the sentiments that this automatically makes a participant a conversation outcast.  On the contrary, I believe a successful conversation should start off in a comfortable and relaxed way, so that all participants can find their voices.  Hence, if you find yourself in a difficult conversation, it’s not necessarily because you can’t hold a conversation, but could be as a result of the participants and the subject matter.

A good conversation goes beyond just exchanging information. All participants in the conversation need to consider the emotions and intentions behind the information being conveyed. Besides clearly expressing the message, they need to have mastered the art of listening and showing meaningful interest in what’s been discussed and making one another feel heard and understood.  Now, where a participant feel shutdown by reactions from other participants, then, they’d most likely become withdrawn and less interested in the conversation.  In some cases, this could affect the confidence of the participant and how they perceive themselves going forward.  They become critical of their abilities to make conversations. If, however, the participants are attentive, the conversation develops into a relaxed, smooth and enjoyable one with deeper connection amongst all the participants.


Likewise, if the subject matter is unsuitable or unfamiliar, it becomes even more difficult for a conversation to hold successfully.  It is therefore important that all participants in a conversation acknowledges this fact, and admit honestly, when they don’t know the subject matter.  This shouldn’t be an opportunity to treat one another like conversation outcasts.  Rather, let the one who knows the subject speak, whilst others learn in silence, and vice versa.  Taking turn to talk about a subject matter that gives every participant in a conversation a voice is what makes a successful conversation. If you find yourself struggling to contribute to a subject matter, it’s not because you’re a social outcast, it’s more to do with the suitability and familiarity of the subject. Everyone loves a good subject matter, especially, when they are inclusive.

Thus, no participant should see themselves as a conversation outcast when the conversation is non-inclusive.  I guess what I am trying to say is that the success of any conversation is majorly reliant on the people and the subject.  If a participant does not feel welcomed by the people or lack knowledge of the subject, I think, depending on which, they can either excuse themselves or admit they don’t have any clue and learn in silence.  They shouldn’t feel guilty when they’ve politely moved away from a conversation that places them in a difficult or awkward situation.  It’s best to find a familiar activity than waste time trying to participate in a conversation that isn’t wide-ranging or could make you become critical of your ability.

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5 Replies to “You are not a Conversation Outcast!”

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