- Lifestyle

I thought it would be nice to write about Mapes next.  This is because of how much we have associated Mapes to humans, and how we’ve even gone as far as saying humans evolve from Mapes. I am not sure how that’s possible though, and how such unintelligible reference have been accepted by people.

Anyways, in case you were wondering, Mapes stands for Monkeys and Apes, and in this write up, I will showcase their differences and similarities to humans.  However, what’s worthy of note is that a lot of other animals share the same similarities and differences with humans.

So, firstly, no person or culture evolve from Mapes.  Mapes are all around us.  If it helps to put a place to their origin, then I would almost likely say, their origins lie in the same origin as humans.  Just as humans were created, Mapes were too.  If we still struggle scientifically to make sense of humans, why then do we spend a lot of time trying to unravel the mystery behind Mapes.  Just like humans, they come from the same creator. 

What’s interesting about Mapes is that they can walk straight up like humans. Isn’t God wonderful!  And if you wonder about where they live and how they survive.  Mapes live in jungles, forest across the world.  Some now live with us humans in our homes!

They come in different colours like us: white, black, brown, orange etc.  But that’s not all there’s to Mapes, they are diversified in their shapes and sizes. They are omnivores: they eat meats and plants, not just bananas, as we were made to believe. And domesticated ones can drink milk too…

If you didn’t know, Mapes are social beings.  They enjoy hanging out too.  They’d love to be taken to parties, if you will do them the honour.  I see we humans love to hang out with them too.  They are very particular about their children and work together to care for them in their troop.  They enjoy playing, cuddling and protecting each other.  Isn’t this exactly what ALL humans do? Exciting!

Just as we have the men as Heads of our homes, guess what, they do too.  The largest male Mapes are the Heads of their homes. What you also need to know is that they practice polygyny – male mating with more than one female. Ha ha! just as we practice polygamy, male marrying more than one wife; mating with more than one female. And in the home, a baby Mape is cared for by the mother.  In monogamous homes, they are cared for by both parents.

I must mention that a baby Mape is treated as an adult between 4-5 years. Ok, humans, are we beginning to turn our children into Mapes when we expect so much from them at that age too?

But what makes them different from us is our ability to reason at a higher level.  If we also take ourselves back to creation, we would see that we were created to manage the whole earth including the animals that reside in it.  Hence, why we can train Mapes for instance to become domesticated, build and invent stuff they can’t.  So how could we have even come up with the idea that we evolved from Mapes!

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How many times have we heard the sayings that out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks?  Countless times, I can imagine.  Those words that come out of our mouth are from our hearts’ storage.  For our hearts would only give what’s been stored in it.  Consequently, if we retain malicious thoughts, they will be exposed soon enough because that’s what’s in our hearts. If we are lucky, we would catch the rawness of the information and process them before they come out of our mouth. 

I know sometimes, we feel we have good reasons for our emotional state; and they often cloud our thoughts. Then, stored up in our hearts, adding more to their workloads.  Just in case you didn’t know, our hearts are the organs that help us react to different demands from our bodies including the brain by providing feedback signals, which affect the state of our emotions. For instance, if we feed our brains with reasons to retain our hurtful emotions, our hearts receive and store them raw for when we need them. And as our hearts were created to act unconsciously, our first utterances usually come out raw; unless, we are well contained and can process them before spoken.  Regrettably, in most cases, we’re not. That’s why we hear people say they never meant to. 

Our hearts are therefore very important and a special place too; not for storing up negative thoughts but for creating behaviours that reduces the risk of conditions such as high blood pressure, cholesterol etc.  If we take a moment to consider the importance of our hearts to the functions of other parts of our bodies, then, we will do more to reduce the impact of retaining unhealthy emotions in them.  This will include in bias, reprisal, hates and many more.  For every time, we keep them, we become stressed; and our bodies release hormones that causes our breathing and heart rate to speed up abnormally. We know what happens next… 

So, why do we keep storing unhealthy emotions in our hearts? Emotions that fill us with so much hurts – exposing our hearts to continuous levels of thoughts, which eventually trigger our adrenaline hormones. Isn’t it time we realised that we bear the consequences of what happen to our hearts?  We not only live with the outcome of the state of our hearts, we also live with the consequences of the words that come out of our mouth, as a result of the abundance of our hearts.

Thankfully, we have the power to control our thoughts; to remove the ones that are not of benefits to our hearts and interaction with the world.  So, lets wipe out the thoughts that are destructive and fill our hearts with the right ones.

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Isn’t it wonderful that we can express ourselves freely? I, like you, think it is great that we can be free with one another, as it gives us a feeling of oneness with all things. 

However, just as our freedom of speech can give us the feeling of oneness, it can also divide us. This is because our words are powerful. So powerful that they can build up or rip apart; and can leave a long-lasting negative impression of who we aren’t.

Shouldn’t we therefore thrive our free speech in a considerate manner? A manner that’s truly truthful if we’re truly trying to speak the truth.  But in most cases, are we speaking the truth?  Are we using our free speech in a healthy or destructive way? Are we sometimes caught up in our own hurts that we don’t realise that we are hurting other people?

If we are going to be using our freedom of speech to speak the truth, then what’s the truth?  Is our truth based on any grounding at all, in which case, it is fair? Is our truth based on our bias, in which case, is not the truth? Truth and bias are not the same thing. Truth is based on evidence and fairness; bias on the other hand, is based on our own personal opinions, which makes our speech unfair.

The impact of free speech can be remarkably permanent.  We should therefore use it in a manner that bring about positive change for us and for our society.  Tearing ourselves apart is not the way to go. If we’ve been hurt deeply, it is okay for us to share our experiences so we can be free. Unfortunately, if in sharing our experiences, we attack a whole community for the wrong of some; we lose all empathy and only get apathy.  No one ever want to be in a place where people stop being interested in them because of their bias.  We all want to be heard, and be spoken to, and be made to feel fair in our outlook – not the other way around, as it deepens our hurts.

I am not saying lose your free speech.  All I’m suggesting here is that we direct them more towards the right issues.  Issues that create positivity and not further lead to disintegration and bitterness.  If being hurt could create a monster in us; why do want to continue creating more monsters.  And what happens when we all become monstrous in our views? Is this the world we want to see? Yet, we are continuing to trade, travel to explore and find survival in some cases. How would we be able to sustain them if we all continue to use our freedom of speech to attack one another?

Let’s therefore show consideration in our free speech and be respectful of one another. There are more important issues that would benefit from our free speech.  We can either use our free speech as a powerful force to change those issues or continue to use our free speech to isolate us from the rest of the world, who feel differently.   

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You’re on a road trip and suddenly realised you’re on the wrong path and had to backtrack. You find you have a lot of options to guide you as you did so. Options such as your intuition, road signs, map, sat nav and even certain people on your path.  Still, you couldn’t backtrack! You then became confused and travelled further away from your path. The path you now know but feels out-of-the-way!

Our world is like so! We find ourselves travelling in a path that isn’t ours. We want to backtrack and are presented with a lot of options, but we become confused; so confused that we lose ourselves further in the wrong path. At this point, you either choose to stay confused in the wrong path or explore the various options open to you. The downside of staying in the wrong path, of course, is that you become frustrated and loose excitement of experiencing another journey.  This then takes you to a place where you settle for a path that’s not yours.  Being on this path could make you lose confidence in yourself; and often perceived as incompetent.  Majorly because you’re at your best when you are on the right path. You get the recognition that’s yours and your strength shines!

Whilst we all sometimes find ourselves on the wrong path, there’s nothing as good as still finding your own path.  You stop struggling with things that are not meant for you; channel your energy towards yours. The result being more confidence and opportunities to develop yourself. You really do not have all the time in the world to keep learning on a wrong path. You’ve learnt enough to now backtrack and find you.

The good news is that we now live in a world where there are opportunities, and a lot more options to help us travel the right path. And am talking about options not limited to specific professions, as there were before. The world is now exploring more metrics to measure growth, development, diversity, creativity, IT skills and musicality to name a few.  You can see the world is getting smaller; so why waste time on a wrong path when yours’ waiting for you to explore and grow.

You only find you when you make up your mind to do so.  When you join the many people, who acknowledge that they’re on the wrong path, have learnt from it and now, backtracked.  You are not alone; a lot of people are in the same boat and are everyday finding ways to find them. We are always on a road trip, sometimes we find our way easily and at other times, hard to find it.  What matters is our resolve to find us and be confident to explore appropriate options in order to do so.

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So, you’d promised to meet up with a friend and felt too tired after work to do so. What do you do? Do you call your friend and let them know that you’re no longer able to meet up with them because you’re feeling too tired or cook up a different story to duck out of it?

Ah! Here we go, can imagine the expression on your faces as you read this. You know what am talking about – don’t you!

My friend wanted us to meet up after work on Tuesday, last week; and honestly, I wanted to.  This is someone I enjoy their company very much and would always look forward to meeting up with. But, on the day, I felt too tired after work and didn’t feel up to meeting up besides going home to get a good nap. I felt caught between telling the truth, going ahead with the meeting or cooking up an excuse to duck out of it. As much as I didn’t want to disappoint my friend, I also needed to be honest with my situation at the time. So, I spent time thinking about what to say to my friend, and as I did so, I got a text from them saying they were not feeling well on the day and not at work and asked for us to postpone to a later date. I felt a big relief!

However, this got me thinking whether we all sometimes feel this way. Perhaps, my friend felt the same way, and came up with an excuse just as the one above to duck out of it?  Whilst they were trying to probably duck of the situation; I was also trying to do the same. Could we have been open and honest and just agree that Tuesday wasn’t a good day for us to meet up, even though, we were both looking forward to it?  Do we sometimes make things unnecessarily difficult for ourselves? If we could only be open and honest about situations without being overly sensitive; then, we would have succeeded in transforming the way we relate to each other.

We must know that we are friends because we can be honest about things.  We are open about meeting up and other priorities in our lives without creating negative feelings.  You respect me as an individual and I do the same.  By so doing, we would appreciate that there are times when we could actually have wanted to do something but could not because we are truly exhausted – no hard feelings whatsoever!

So, if you’re faced with the same situation, you have three options: meet up, cook up a story or tell your friend the truth.  If you are lucky, you won’t have to do any of the three. If not, then you have a very easy task ahead! Whatever you do, try not to leave your excuse too late in the day – its called been considerate! However, you could actually have an unexpected situation on the day, this is where your friendship gets tested.  What can I say except I wish you all the bes

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The benefit of freewill is that we can choose who we let into our lives. Do we allow people who choose us or people who don’t? This is because our choices will determine how far we go in life. Moving towards people who are not right for us in most cases create awkward relationships that often result in low self-esteem. We every so often find ourselves trying to fit in; and they trying to mould us into what they think we should be, in order for us to fit their needs – without stopping to care about what we want.

The truth is that we all have people who like us the way we are, appreciate our skills and talents and would not change them for anything.  These are our people; and the ones to let into our lives. We just need to realise that not everyone is the same to us.  This is why we should channel our energies  into more positive encounters.  They give us the opportunity to grow in confidence, potential and the limits that goes beyond the sky. Any relationship that does not give us these opportunities are toxic, and should be avoided at all cost. 

I say toxic because they produce in us negative emotions.  Emotions that change our outlook to life, drive how we react to people and situations.  We need to start protecting ourselves from toxic encounters and gravitate towards positive ones.  It’s about being honest with ourselves really; not everyone would like us for who we are and we probably feel the same about other people too. So, let’s  choose the direction that suits us and works for our goals and aspiration; and worry less about the one that leads to destruction.

It’s about time we divert our time, energy and conversation to people who choose and want us.  We can’t keep bending over backwards to satisfy toxic people in our lives. It just keeps us from moving forward and exploring our potentials.  There’s more to us than spending time ruminating over actions of toxic people because we allowed them into our lives.  So, choose people who are happy to have you in their lives! ading 1 Accent

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Right! So, I thought I’d write about hasty generalisation fallacy.

We are too quick to associate a particular event or small sample of events to a race; and this every so often lead to a hostile environment. This line of thinking should therefore be avoided at all cost!

What we fail to understand is that by associating individual actions and intelligence to race, we are taking from individuals the opportunity to be responsible and celebrated for their uniqueness. Race and individuality are two separate items. Yes, you may exhibit characteristics of a race in language, physical outlook, history etc, but you are unique as an individual in intelligence and actions. An individual’s actions and intelligence are in no way a reflection of their race but what moulds them. It is therefore important we separate actions and intelligence from race in order us to get more insights.

Of course, we all like to be associated with good things that come from individuals from our races.  However, that’s not for us to make general. Instead, we should celebrate with them.  The same principle applies to wrongdoings by individuals; we should allow them to individually take responsibility for their actions, learn from them and get the help they need.  We should not take away individuality in our bias quest.

The truth is that society is now moving more towards individuality.  The isolated evidences of before that associates intelligence and actions to race are beginning to sound like broken record that people no longer want to listen to.  Its about time we press the pause button and be more objective in our considerations.  We should let individuals understand the consequence of their actions and feel responsible for it; and let intelligence celebrate itself.

Uniqueness in actions and intelligence makes for a better society that we can all be proud of.

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I took a personality test that left me wondering if I am an introvert. Do I consider myself an introvert when I actually facilitate workshops and training courses? Or could it mean that my personality changes based on the situation and environment?   I am sure there are a lot of people out there who ask the same questions, and can find it a bit confusing when they see people they would consider an introvert display an extrovert personality. You are definitely not alone!

So, who is an introvert or extrovert?  According to the Cambridge dictionary, an introvert is “someone who is shy, quiet and prefers to spend time alone rather than often being with other people.” An extrovert is “an energetic happy person who enjoys being with other people.” Do I agree with this definition completely? No.  No, because I think that an introvert may not necessarily be shy, and in some cases, the energy of an extrovert is as a result of their shyness. 

On the other hand, the Oxford dictionary defines an introvert as “ a person predominantly concerned with their own thoughts and feelings rather than with external things.” An extrovert, “a person predominantly concerned with external things or objective considerations.” Do I agree with this? Not completely, as being an introvert does not necessarily mean less concern about objective consideration.  Sometimes, the presence of passion for an extrovert may not allow for objective consideration. I believe both introverts and extroverts exhibit different levels of feelings and passion that could sometimes lead to subjective considerations.

Basically, the dictionaries give us definitions of both to help us understand what they mean, not necessarily how they apply to different situations or environments. Personally, I think every human has both personalities in them.  One is more pronounced than the other depending on the situation, environment, topics and skills. For instance, you could be regarded as an extrovert when you show great energy in delivering your submissions about a topic close to your heart. You could enjoy the company of some people, not necessarily people you’ve known, but ones that make you so comfortable that you just become the life of the company. Sometimes, you may feel the need to recharge or move away from all the noise around you. In this case, you become an introvert.  When you feel ready, you become an extrovert by moving towards the noise  – especially comfortable one.

Another good example is the workplace. You’ll find that some staff seen as introverts become extroverts once they’ve found their feet or have a close relationship with their managers and team.  Whilst, others we consider extroverts become introverts when faced with bias, bullying etc. There’s no gainsaying that a degree of bias occurs in the workplace that affect individual personality.  Bias for someone that looks like us, talk like us, feel like us and many more.  Unfortunately, what we end up doing is affecting people’s personalities. So, as we can see situations and environment can play a big role in the personality we exhibit at every point in our lives.

Obviously, there are people who are louder than the others and may choose to become more of an extrovert in most situations.  I see this as the choice they’ve made and are happy to be regarded like so.  There are others who would make the choice to keep low profile because of reasons best known to them.  It’s what they’ve chosen to do and can choose to change it if they feel like so. What I think is that you choose to be an introvert or extrovert, as you deem fit, and there’s nothing wrong with that. For me, I would make contributions and honestly don’t care whether you think they are sensible or not, as long as they are my contributions.  I also would want to be able to make the decision not to go to the pub with you because I just feel like getting away from the noises around me. I also don’t think I need to be your friend in a workplace, as long as I get on well with you, get your work done and make the contributions that are necessary to push the workplace forward and this will include in being polite, decent and willingness to work with you.

The long and short of it is we all exhibit both personalities.  One becomes more pronounced based on our choices, situations and environment.  Trying to be an extrovert in a situation that’s not favourable to us may make us come across as an introverts – vice versa. Once you’ve learned to enjoy your personalities, your can get on with the business of being you!

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Isn’t this beautiful!

Two people truly in love. Not perfect, just as we aren’t but happy in themselves!

When Prince Harry introduced Meghan to Daphne, you could see the delight on her face. She held her close and said she was beautiful. That’s been honest! Why should they be sad because some imperfect person thinks they should? Why should they feel guilty because imperfect people constantly remind them of their race and background? No one should allow anyone to despise their feelings because they don’t have what they have. We are freeborn, free to love and free to be loved by anyone.  This isn’t because they are from a particular race but because they are happy to love us and be loved by us. We are not perfect. Anyone that tells you they are perfect or look down on you because of your imperfections are no different from you. Looking down on you shows their own imperfections – don’t you think! So, enjoy love wherever you find it – as long as it is safe, beautiful and you love it. 

We’d love to hear your experiences!

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